A Different Sort of New Year's Dance
by UsagiKuro
Summary: crack!fic Akito has gone a bit crazy at this Banquet, ordering various members to perform rather embarrassing dances. Kureno? The Chicken Dance! And the others will be dancing as well. Singing? Just maybe.


**Third post of the day! Yay! *does happy dance* Hope you people enjoy it. Once again, today is my birthday so I've gifted you all with lots of stories! What I ask for in return is reviews! Lots and lots of reviews! I don't care if all you do is just a smiley face. Just that will make my year. And as an explanation for Kyo not being in this fic is that he does not attend the dancing part. So don't yell at me for not putting him in here. I don't own Fruits Basket copyright goes to Natsuki Takaya. This is a non-profit story so don't sue me. Please read, review, and enjoy!**

**Japanese vocabulary:**

**Bakatachi – Idiots, fools, morons.**

**Hai – Yes, sure, of course.**

**Juunshi – Zodiac**

**Hentai – Pervert**

**Baka – Stupid, fool, moron, Idiot.**

"I have decided that this year everyone will dance!" Akito declared smiling wickedly at all her Juunshi.

Everyone groaned inwardly except for Shigure who sat completely unfazed by what Akito had said. They were at the New Year's party that always was more torture then party.

"Everyone will have a different dance that makes sense for your respective animals except for the people whose animals that don't have any dances that make sense. You shall participate in someone else's dance. First: Kureno. You shall do the chicken dance!"

Kureno's eyes widened at what the Zodiac god had said. "The chicken dance?" He asked horrified.

"Hai! The chicken dance!" Akito glared/smiled at Kureno.

Kureno got up reluctantly and walked to the middle of the room where Akito was smirking evilly. Akito went over to a stereo and pressed play and, of course, the chicken dance began to play.

Kureno started dancing to the ridiculous tune and prayed to whoever was listening that Arisa would never find out about this. Eventually the part where you needed a partner came on. Kureno turned to face Akito, unsure of how to continue but also not sure what Akito would to him if he stopped.

"What do I do now?"

"Just dance with your invisible pal Sal!" Akito said, annoyed at how she had to do everything.

Kureno stared at Akito in horror. He was a no-nonsense kind of person and he had to dance with an invisible pal Sal. Umm…

"Just do it already!" Akito ordered pointing in a way that made even the mere act of pointing look like a crime.

Kureno winced but none the less pretended to dance with his invisible pal Sal. The song ended early due to the fact that Akito had shortened it a bit. She then scanned the circle of zodiac that were sitting on the floor in a circle looking for her next victim. Her eyes rested on Momiji with intent.

"You!" she exclaimed "You're next! You get to lead the bunny hop! Yuki, Ayame, Rin, Shigure, and Hatori. You join him."

Akito was expecting a glare from Momiji as well but had forgotten that Momiji was not the type to get mad, sad, or basically anything but gleeful. So instead, of glaring, Momiji hopped to his feet in the incredibly girly way that he always did and replaced Kureno in the middle of the circle. The rest of the zodiac that had been requested to dance got up wishing that they were able to hate Akito because if they could they would Oh yes, would they ever hate her. Except for Ayame. He was quite thrilled to be dancing with his beloved little brother.

Akito skipped through the songs on the disk until she was at the bunny hop and pressed pause as she waited for everyone to get situated.

"Isn't this grand, Yuki?" Ayame proclaimed. "We get to dance as brothers to symbolize our brotherly love! Forthwith, I say!"

Yuki glared at him but didn't say anything. He instead got in his place in the line of people who were also doing the bunny hop.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Akito said sitting calmly on the floor admiring herself for making her Juunshi, especially Shigure, look this stupid. "You also must do it while smiling like bakatachi!"

"Of course my dear Akito, anything you say," Shigure mocked her.

"Shut up. Or I'll put you in confinement, instead of Kyo."

Shigure smirked the way he always did when he was being perverted. "You just want me around so your life is more entertaining." Shigure winked at her.

"Ahh! You baka hentai! If anything I want to put you through miserable pain!"

"I understand. We must not talk about such things in front of the children."

Akito glared once again at Shigure then pressed the play button and enjoyed the show of dancing idiots. It seemed Rin was having the most trouble smiling, since she never really did anyway. Yuki was a worthy second though.

"Bored now! Onto the next song." Akito said switching tracks once again "The hampster dance! Yuki, you shall participate in this one as well. Same with you Momiji." Akito turned to face the juunshi that weren't dancing. "Kagura, Kureno, Ritsu, Hiro, Kisa, you shall join them."

"But… we're not hamsters…" Kagura noted

"I don't care! You shall do the hampster dance anyway! It's the closest I could get! There are not enough songs out there for animals." Akito crossed her arms.

"I already danced," Kureno stated.

"Why does everyone think I care? You will dance again!" Ayame, Rin, Hatori and Shigure joined the juunshi that were outside of the circle unlike Yuki who remained there plotting out ways to kill Akito. At least, he tried to but that kuso curse wouldn't let him.

"Since the hampster dance had no real dance all you have to do is dance like bakatachi! Again!" The hampster dance began to play and all the Zodiac that had been ordered into the dancing began to dance like wild animals.

"Alright, everybody! Now, here we go! It's a brand new version of the dosie-doe. Just stomp your feet and clap your hands. Come on, everybody, it's the hamster dance! Bounce in time to the beat, hey! You don't even have to move your feet. Just shake your thing, let me see you move, now spin around and feel the groove!" Shigure smiled like the natural hentai that he was and got up to the dancing area. He began to "shake his thing and feel the groove" with more enthusiasm then necessary.

"Sit back down!" Akito barked at him even though she was not the dog.

Shigure, of course, listened to her since he wasn't able to defy her, and sat back down with a sly grin.

"Come on everybody!" Akito chanted along with the music. "Clap your hands. Come on everybody! Clap your hands. Come on everybody! Clap your hands. Come one everybody! It's the hampster dance." Akito danced in rhythm with the beat making her look incredibly… strange. At the end of the song Akito did her evil laugh glaring at Yuki then turned back to the rest of the juunshi that had done the hampster dance.

"And to finish off with the dancing we shall sing! Or rather, _you _shall sing!"

The Zodiac looked at her fearfully.

"Let me guess," Kureno said. "Old McDonald?"

"No! You moron! That's about a creepy old guy! I am young and plus I'm a… never mind. Just sing about Akito-sama instead of the McDonald dude." Akito sat back down. "You shall take turns singing each verse using your Zodiac animal according to your Zodiac year. Yuki, you go first."

Yuki sighed. He hated his life. "Old Akito-sama had a-" Akito slapped Yuki abruptly

"Stop right there! You can't make me old! I'm a beautiful young… person!"

"Okay then…. _Young _Akito-sama had a farm. E-I-E-I-O."

Akito slapped Yuki. Again. "Spell my name you worthless Rat! What does E-I-E-I-O even mean?"

Yuki began singing yet again. "Young Akito-sama had a farm. A-K-I-T-O. And on this farm there was a Rat. A-K-I-T-O. With a…" Yuki grimaced. He really hated his life. "Squeak, squeak here. And a squeak there. Here a squeak there a squeak. Everywhere a squeak, squeak. Young Akito-sama had a farm. A-K-I-T-O."

"You next Hatsuharu!"

"And on this farm there was an Ox. A-K-I-T-O. With a moo, moo here and a moo, moo there. Here a moo, there a moo everywhere a moo, moo." Akito glared at Yuki.

Yuki sighed again. He no longer hated his life. He despised it. "And a squeak, squeak here and a squeak, squeak there. Here a squeak there a squeak everywhere a squeak, squeak." Haru sang with him in for the last part. "Young Akito-sama had a farm. A-K-I-T-O."

Kisa sang her part of the song with her quiet shy voice. Unfortunately, though, she had to say rawr. Momiji did his part gleefully using his happy voice. Then again, that's his only voice.

And so Hatori began. "And on this farm there was a dragon. A-K-I-T-O. With a…" Hatori trailed off, looking at Akito. Kisa had already used the 'rawr' so that left him with what? "What do you want me to do?" He asked.

"I don't know! Bubble, bubble!"

Hatori looked at the insane woman horrified at what she was suggesting. "Bubble, bubble?" He asked pitifully

"Yes! Now hurry up! I'm bored."

Hatori continued in a quieter voice due to the fact that it was only slightly mortifying to say 'bubble, bubble' when you were a person like him. "With a bubble, bubble here and a bubble, bubble there. Here a bubble there a bubble everywhere a bubble, bubble."

"And a moo, moo, here and a moo, moo there here a moo there a moo everywhere moo."

"And a squeak, squeak here and a squeak, squeak there. Here a squeak there a squeak everywhere a squeak, squeak."

They all chimed in. "Young Akito –sama has a farm. A-K-I-T-O." The rest of the Zodiac followed suit and did their sounds. There wasn't much other complaint except for from Kagura who was upset about her noise being so unfeminine and Kyo wouldn't want a girl who was as so unfeminine that she said 'oink, oink' Akito was quick to silence her on that of course. All she had to do was use her handy dandy slap and Kagura had abruptly shut up.

The party ended with Akito going even more insane then she already was and trotting off into the night with Shigure singing 'young Akito-sama.' All the Juunshi escaped while they still could.

**Reviews anyone? I shall say again, today is my birthday so I posted/updated quite a lot of stories. What I ask for in return is reviews! Here is the list of my other stories: On The Road To Mineral Town, (a Harvest Moon fic) Yuma Returns, (a Kaze Hikaru fic) Below The Water, (a continuing Harvest Moon and Titanic fic) Forgiven, (a Fruits Basket fic) Fate, (a Fruits Basket fic) and Kirby Sues (a continuing Super Smash Brothers crack fic). Jealousy, (a Kaze Hikaru fic) Told you there were lots. I've been writing and editing my brain away. Please review all those too! **


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